Laine's Medical Update - Saturday, May 3rd, 2008

The Long & Winding Road to Recovery

Today will be a full week since Laine's accident. During the past week Laine's broken body parts have been tested, treated, reset, relieved, patched and presently, stabilized. There is little more doctors and nurses can do, having done the bulk of their incredible handy work during the most critical period of time. It now comes down to time; the slow arduous process of healing the many broken pieces of body and spirit. The long and winding road to recovery has now begun with Laine's jaw surgery being completed yesterday. Procedures going forward will focus on "taking out or off", rather than "putting in". Soon Laine's chest tubes will be removed, having been reduced to their lowest setting as of this morning. The ventilator weaning steps have been implemented and if all goes well, Laine will be breathing on her own in a matter of days, with only an apparatus that feeds oxygen into the breathing port in her neck. The latest addition to her myriad challenges being a tightly wired jaw.

My heart breaks for my daughter each time I see her grimace and thrash about in a semi state of consciousness, as she motions to get out of bed and off of the restrains that bind her motion. She's still so vary disoriented, yet will awaken suddenly in horror; as though she is re-living her terrible fall and at the same time gripping with the inevitable realization that her dream of making the 2008 Olympic team has been shattered, just as badly as the broken bones of her body. Both realities are intertwined and hit with a powerful force. This quest is what has driven and defined her for the past couple years of her life. She is not ready to receive the truly devastating news of the loss of her beloved Frodo. Laine is such a brave kid. Determined, to a fault and dedicated to a cause, she has lived with a single minded focus. But still, at least through her father’s eyes, a little girl.

So, today we start the long and winding road to recovery. Getting off the ventilator and eventually the healing of the tracheotomy passage. Learning to adjust to a liquid diet. Dealing with the excruciating pain of eight broken ribs where each life sustaining breath comes with a price of pain. Then, the emotional trauma of forfeiting a dream so close to attaining - - that was taken away in a mere instant and along with it, her special horse. A horse she trained herself, day in and day out, while carrying a full load of classes while attending University of Virginia . A life changed, abruptly shaken, without warning or preparation; the proverbial “card” that she has been dealt. All these things will test her metal. So, while her broken body has been reassembled and is ready to heal, the living spirit is about to be tested. As her father (and second biggest fan), all you can do is offer help, encouragement and love. The real battle is Laine's to bear. Soon she'll be asking questions, trying to make sense of it all. It will be at this point, she'll need her friends, her family and her fans, more then ever before.

Thank you all for your kind and considerate emails, cards and letters. And thank you for your heart felt prayers. Having witnessed Laine’s terrible fall and the immediate aftermath, I feel more blessed than anything else. Laine will walk out of this hospital on her own strength, she will ride her horses again and she will enjoy the full measure of her life.

Michael Ashker

Shared In Honor of Frodo

"You are a great champion. When you ran, the ground shook; the sky opened and mere mortals parted the way to victory, where I met you in the winners circle and laid a blanket of flowers upon your neck."

Author unknown

Here's just one of the emails that keeps me going and believing...

Hi Valerie,

I don't know if you remember us, we were stabled right down from you, and Laine, being the WONDERFUL girl she is, loaned missy her saddle for X/C for the weekend, when she needed it. This at Ocala in the fall, at the Trainng 3 day. Nidus was her horse.

I want to share some stuff with you, and I hope, during this time, knowing, you aren't alone, helps.

My son, now 21 was born very sick, with MANY, MANY disabilities. I was told he would never "walk, talk, feed himself, see, or hear or function at anything near normal". I was asked to put him in a home, and "forget" I had him.

I know you must think these are nothing alike. But our babies, well they are "OUR" babies. I stood for months by his bedside, willing him to live, to eat, to breath. I willed him to be okay, and to walk, and talk, and be a human. They would tie him down, so he couldn't pull out tubes, and I would sob, because I couldn't explain to my precious baby why he had to endure so much. I KNOW you are going through a lot of those emotions, and I pray each day for God to stand beside you, and hold your hand, as you hold Laine's.

She is a wonderful girl. So giving and loving. I know right now it is hard, each day brings something difficult, and even the smallest things become so hard to deal with. Just keep all of our prayers in your heart, and when it gets really hard, go ahead and cry. Because guess what..it does help. And remember to smile, and laugh at the slightest thing, because it is THOSE things that will get you through. Take it in small steps, and don't wonder what tomorrow will bring. Face each minute as it comes.

As for Frodo...I am truly saddened. And I know this is something you have probably heard a DOZEN zillion times, but that horse loved his job. HE LOVED IT. They don't get there without loving it. And he was doing what he loved when he got injured. There are many horses out there who never get the love and attention he got, who never got to dream the big dream. HE did, and I bet if you could have asked him...he would have nickered and said, yes, mom, if I gotta go, let me go at the top....

As for telling her, I know someday MIssy's big horse will die, and I dunno how I will handle that...she has had him forever you see. But I will for sure pray...and for sure think of you every day. Missy sends her love to both of you. And says that your daughter is an idol to her. Not just for her ability, but because she is so nice, and caring about others.

About my son....he is now applying to Texas A&M for Aerospace Engineering. My baby, who may never walk, talk, or eat, can't shut up, won't stop eating, and well, he walks slow, but only cause he is lazy...grin.

Take care, and if you need ANYTHING....let me know.

Love,

Dee McMaster

Friday 10:18am

Michael and I looked at one another and gasped with surprise! LAINE STILL HAD ALL HER TEETH! Dr. Gal said the surgery went better than expected!!!! Her mandible break was repaired with 2 plates and a screw.....she sheared a tooth but it was still there to wire her jaw straight. If she did not have the lung issue Dr. Gal said he would have sent her home!!! No exterior scars!

Yes, as I am sitting here with anticipation to see our daughter.....I feel the strength of all your e mails and phone calls....supporting Lainey and the love of our family. I can't tell you how INCREDIBLE I feel right now!!!!! The green light is bright with hope across the lake.

ALL OF YOU......thank you. Thank you for bringing us into your lives and keeping us safe. Our gallant boy Frodo I know has watched over his loving partner...and I am sure when Laine was under anesthetic....she could feel his soft muzzle nudging ever so gently on her sweet face.

Laine will be able to see us in an hour or so. I will walk confidantly down the hall thru her ICU doors.

thank you my dear dear friends. thank you.

Valerie

Friday May 2nd 7:30 am

"Consistantly we are getting better than expected news" Michael said while the 5 of us are waiting in the ICU wait room for her to be taken to surgery. There has been a change regarding the use of a Halo.......NO HALO! So as I write she has JUST been wheeled down the hall to OR. I will keep you informed as to her results after her surgery.....we can see her probably about noon.

again, THANK YOU for all your precious e mails.....they mean so much to me.

Valerie

4:30 PM Thursday

I sit quietly by my daughter's bedside and begin to realize what the "roller coaster" ride is all about.
Laine is aggitated because she wants answers to questions that neither her mom or dad can understand. Her communication skills are crippled by a moraphine drip line and the incredible frustration in this 10 x 10 room is emotionally exhausting. So vivid the memory of tragedy paling the one of victory.
My one source of strength comes from a home page website where I know thousands of our friends are supporting us with prayers & love.
I feel it. I hold it. And I thank each and EVERY one of you for it. That "it" keeps me returning to her tiny room with a comforting smile.
Valerie

Laine's Medical Update - Thursday, May 1st, 2008 - 12:30pm

It's been five days since Laine's terrible fall and with each new day we've been blessed with signs of progress. One of the emotional elements of healthcare management is to prepare families for both good and bad days. The proverbial emotional roller coaster ride. So, far our set backs have been few and Laine's forward steps have been consistent. One backward step came about last night when Laine's fever suddenly spiked up to nearly 103. It was determined that she had an infection and a case of pneumonia; both being complications that are quite common with a lung injury of this sort. They started her on three seperate antibiotics and her fever has already come down significantly as a result.

The good news is that Laine's lungs continue to gain strength and her doctors have again lowered the level of assistance being contributed by the ventilator. At one point, Laine was drawing almost all her own breaths. It turned out to be a bit premature, so they went back to the previous settings. Laine's jaw surgery is now scheduled for first thing Friday morning. The plan is to plate the lower jaw line and then reset the right upper jawbone and then wiring it all together.

As far as Laine's attitude goes, she is an amazing kid. They've begun to cut back the level of her pain/comfort meds so from time-to-time, she'll drift back into consciousness, opening her eyes and trying to get herself oriented. She's begun to ask the obvious questions, like what happened and where am I? Not a moment after she was asking about her beloved horses, Frodo and Eric. Keep in mind that communication is now done by lip reading and hand gestures because the tracheotomy has rendered her vocal chords temporarily inoperable. There is a certain "fiest" in Laine today and while the communication process is very frustrating, she was tried desperately to communicate in her sedated state. There was one point that Laine was particularly struggling to ask the nurse something that she couldn't make out. Eventually, they were able to determine that she was asking for a mirror. Now, while that's normally a simple request, one has to think about the benefits of providing it in this instance. We did, she looked for a moment and then drifted back into a peaceful rest.