Milestone Marker

As I trotted down centerline to halt at X, I exhaled a sigh of relief for at that moment, I was satisfied where I was and what I was doing in my life. I tipped my head and saluted-a deluge of rain poured into my lap from the spout of my helmet and I exited Solar on a long rein looking for my Thumb's Up validation, a sign from my daughter that met her approval with a beautiful smile. She always is close to me...and 30 feet from ringside is living proof of that. I could bet she learned that habit from her ole' lady!!!
WE WERE BACK!

As hurricane Hanna thrusted her might upon the East coast with a copious rainfall, we remaining riders equally rebounded back on our feet right back at her! EVENTING. The life blood of this sport. Those of us that remained had an unmeasurable amount of grit and determination to finish what we all started. It is so very obvious why Laine loves this sport......it is indeed a reflection of her own fortitude and stamina for Life. Men from the boys. This was certainly a horse trial without exception. By the time I rode following Laine.....it was a steady downpour that remained in that dismal state till just after dark. Only the 'die-hards' remained and the Seneca field of play was near empty in what would be the busiest time of the day for the organizers and judges. I rode my test almost 3 hours early because of the no shows and riders electing to call it quits. I walked back to the trailer looking at Laine saying to myself, "another fine mess kid"!!! I knew there was no way in Hell we would be loading our soaked ponies up and heading 95-South to the sheltering gate of Crow's Ear Farm! Not a chance. My daughter's conviction is the Rock of Gibraltar. It has given me strength to be a nurturing Mother when the most difficult of times came to cripple my life and hers on April 26th. I depend on Laine. As do the monkeys who thrive from that great rock they claimed home to. The two work together just as we both do. I am so incredibly fortunate to have the strongest influence remain in my life. I will forever be gracious to God for not robbing me of that bond.

We were greeted by so many fellow riders...."welcome back Lainey"!!! From our dear CA friend Stephanie Boyer to Boyd, Sharon, Tara, Matt, Jackie, Madness, and all our close comrades......both Laine and I found solstice in each person coming up in the terrible weather and making a point of Laine's first event back and congratulating her return . I Love all of You who gave a little bit of your time to make my daughter's struggle not go unnoticed and support her passion of this sport. There has been so much controversy and negativity associated with Rolex and pressure put on Laine's youthful shoulders. It is refreshing to know that our friends remain......Our Friends. I was tenderly reminded by Kathleen Flynn who read our daily hospital blogs that it was Time & Sunshine that mends most Everything. When she asked how Laine was really doing.....I responded but had a 'quiet' moment where emotions forbid me to speak further. She lovingly looked at me and said those very same words I advised readers. Now they were for me. And she was right. I walked away with a smile from ear to ear....and a tear or two that intersected that grin. I felt lighter in my steps as I made my way to the rig and homeward bound with my precious daughter beside me. Our horses were happy. We were happy. And Laine was in the omnibus looking for the next event! She felt so rewarded to be back in the loop from too long a hiatus.

I want to thank first and foremost, my Father and Mother for their loving and unconditional support through ALL of this year. And the many years before. The many years AHEAD. Laine said she is going to see her grandfather witness her in the next Olympic Games before time takes any of us.....for that smile from grandpa is what motivates her to rally onward. Laine is already an Olympic athlete in his mind.....but Laine wants the chance to prove it to him in all his and her glory. I feel she will get that chance indeed. Not only will the Ashker name be a recognized name, the Stephenson Shield of Arms will beam with pride and remain strong.

Which brings me to Ashker once more. Laine's father. Michael. I want to Thank You for your support in financially stretching to the outer limits in giving our kid the chance to live her dream as we did ours. From our 23 years of marriage and half of them struggling in the music business....we have gone through tumultuous ups and downs together in pursuit of 'making it' and now we follow our daughter's aspirations with the same zest for success. It is no surprise I call you when there is adversity in my life because we grew up together, won and lost together, and continue to support one another in our baby's struggle to be Happy and Fulfilled. You gave me my grandest gift. And only you. I thank you for understanding my idiosyncrasies and will take the gravy from our marriage to my grave. "If Almosts Counted".....no wonder I sang the hell outta your song....

My brother George and his wife Judy. I love you both so very, very much. The tough brother you were to me as your little sister carried me through this whole ordeal Georgie. You rescued me so many times growing up......and this would be no exception. And Judy. Your abundant prayers answered ALL. God could not walk away from all the prayer chains you started. I love you Jude.

Lynn Cruser, yo Baby! How in the world could I have got through each day without your silver Bug pulling up my drive at the close of each day to spin time talking over a good glass of wine??? I love you. When I move away....I will be lost without you.

I also know our 2 BELOVED boys Jamie & Frodo are looking down upon our convalescing souls and giving us strength to go forward in their absence. It has been an absolute struggle and immense heartbreak without them. It is a loss that painfully visits our hearts daily. I still have yet to change the feed schedules with their names on it. I probably never will. And Frodo's broom he chewed just the beginning of this year.....will be with me as a reminder of what happiness filled our barn of 11 years. I can say this. We always knew we had the barn of Kings.

Sunshine arrived to greet both Laine and I on Sunday morning with stadium first then finally cross country. We had a complete BLAST and Laine's ride was complete perfection aboard baby Seajack. That team will be a competitive duo next year. Hey, mom didn't do too bad either on Sucky Solar he's so 'affectionately' called! We got 2nd in our Training division. OK, OK.....out of 2!!! Looks like mom has more work to do. But then really, are Mom's 'work' ever truly done????

Time & Sunshine has brought me to this place in my life. And in this place are the friends and family I dearly love. And above that. The gift of Time and another chance I was blessed with to be with my daughter after April 26th. I see nothing greater than to maximize on that once in a lifetime Gift.

So look for me in my red boots and listen to the screaming send offs out of the box. That would be yours truly......doing what makes me most happy and proud......supporting the love and spirit of my extraordinary daughter Laine Evion Ashker.

An Update from Lainey

Hey everyone. Long time no speak. My mom has been much more responsible as far as updating the blog but its time I take over the reins on this one. Everything has slowly been progressing forward. Two weeks ago, right after I returned from California, I took alex cross country schooling at one of my favorite places, Wingreen, which is located in orange, va. Alex was phenomenal, jumping everything I pointed him to which really allowed my confidence in his talents to soar. I know in my heart he has four star abilities...its a matter of whether or not he has a four star heart that my fro and James exuded so diligently. A few days after I schooled al, I took a group of students out and schooled my homebred, Seajack. Seaj has always been known for his quiet attitude and steady disposition and he certainly didn't disappoint. He jumped everything I steered him to which really made me feel proud to know that although my love if my life frodo has left, his two comrades are eager to help fill the void be left in my heart. Soon thereafter, mom and I took our 4 year olds to deep run for a xc school. I rode our homebred, peewee, who I have tremendously high hopes for, and mom rode guppy, our newbee off the track who definitely isn't a slouch at crows ear farm. Both performed really well so I'm excited for these two boys bright futures. Maybe I'll have two more to add to the string for fl next year? Hmmm....not sure, that very well may be up to dad, depending on how many clinics I teach this fall.

On a more personal note, my body is healing well. The doctors appointments are becoming less frequent. However, few imperfections resulting from the accident have yet to be fixed. My dentist, dr. Talton, is trying to devise a way to avoid further surgery to my jaw, because my bite has indeed healed a bit off. Not that I blame the trauma team in ky, my life was at stake so of course they had to hastily repair my jaw. Also, my one tooth's root is exposed so I will be a candidate for a gum graph in the near future. Something totally unrelsyed to the accident, my tonsils, are scheduled to be extracted on the morning of the 6th of august. Since I was a little girl I've dealt with the pains of tonsilitis so I figured what better time to get them yanked? I wish we could just put all my doctors together and in one fell swoop do all three surgeries consecutively but unfortunatley, the doctors won't do this. Perhaps they're starting to think I'm a sucker for pain? Maybe....

My plan for a sept show schedule still stands, which is a big reason for getting these surgeries out of the way. I plan on doing mostly local shows, starting with Seneca valley riding alex in the open prelim division. Keep in mind, my coach is still in England training as an alternate for the US Olympic team, so upon his return, my plan will be finalized.

I feel lucky that although I didn't get to go to hong kong this year, I was fortunate enough to experience it last year along with my coach in the Olympic test event, where I rode al. If I could give any advice for our team, get as much sleep on the plane, pack a kit of jackets ( anywhere indoors in hong kong immediatley thrusts you into a state of hypothermia), and drink tons of water. I'm sure buck is dispensing his advice regarding hong kong as our team trains at capt mark Phillips yard in minchinhampton, England. Well, I wish our team, whoever gets the chance to go, the best of luck. Although I wish I were with them physically, I know they all carry my hope and faith, along with the rest of you horse addicts on their shoulders. Until next time, grab mane and enjoy...

Lainey

Laine's Interview

July 17th

I wanted to let all of you know that THIS Wednesday, Channel 12 on NBC will air Laine's interview at 5:30pm (or a few minutes after). We had such a wonderful time filming baby Seajack jumping through the grid we set up and Laine sitting tall and confidant smiling all the way through the jumping session! Joe Sullivan was most impressed with Laine's attitude and 'come back kid' spirit, not to mention his astonishment when seeing our barn mascot, ET!

James the cameraman was such a perfectionist placing the camera in different spots so backgrounds and light would be most beneficial. It was a lovely experience and I think all of you will enjoy seeing Laine's progress.

We declined the ESPN interview due to the chance it might be turned into a negative light with the loss of our precious partner Frodo.

I will update all of you when I hear from NBC Channel 3 Sacramento, CA as to the date when Laine's interview there with Deirdre Fitzpatrick aires.

until then thank you for all your support.....we continue to rally forward from your kindred spirit and prayers.
sincerely,
Valerie

Back From California!

Hello Everyone!
Laine and I went to CA for a family visit which was wonderful! Being with my family and dear friends was incredible and so therapeutic for us both. We are progressing slowly with their help and support.

I wanted to give all of you a head's up on an interview with Laine on NBC Channel 3 out of N. CA. I believe it will be aired either the end of this week or next. When I get specific dates I will record them on this site. Also NBC Channel 12 out of Richmond, VA will be doing an additional interview along with ESPN shortly. Everyone is concerned on Laine's progress and a lot of admirers have been calling up stations and magazine journals to be updated and made aware of her future efforts. Heck, I even got interviewed! So keep close to this site and I will let you know dates once they become known.

Laine continues to march forward. Slowly. She gave 2 cross country lessons today and it made her feel like she was getting back into the swing of activities. Both riders wore smiles from ear to ear leaving today and her other lessons have been equally pulling away with new found skills to better their rides. It is so valuable to be a teacher AND a rider....and pull out the very best of both. Laine does that so very, very well. It is her passion to leave students with homework so they can aspire to be more educated equestrians. There has to be challenge and focus. Let's say, Laine is like a MiniMe Buck, but in a young female version (little sister would probably be most appropriate!) Buck has taught Laine to be the rider she is today. Sharing what she has learned with other riders is a bonus. I feel Laine is finding some degree of growth and comfort....a step moving forward from these lessons, which is a blessing and relief in itself.

Laine's jaw could be a problem down the road. Her bite is off and crooked....so the dentist wants to file down her teeth in different areas to re-align them as close as possible to their original position. I am not sure if this will remedy the problem but we hope so before we go further into another jaw surgery. She also has a huge knot on her back from the broken clavicle causing her muscle tightness and tension. It has a bit of a humpback appearance and we are trying massage therapy and heat to get it loosened up. It's a slow creep forward from all her injuries but it will all come together and they will be issues of the past.

Laine is asking me if I am starting dinner now....so my friends I will write back as soon as I know upcoming interview dates.
I can feel all your hope and prayers around me and that is why I am a strong woman and mother.
Thank you.



Valerie

Valerie's Update

It has been a while since I have put in my personal update on daughter Laine. We have been busy in the barn care taking our 10 beautiful horses & ponies and keeping them cool and comfortable during these hot and humid months. They stand in front of their fans and sweat!!! I had new waterers installed and of course only 'my' horses are the dork individuals that stand bewildered in front of them wondering how to get water by pressing the paddle down!!! I was amazed that baby Seajack was the first one to easily figure it out! Both Laine and I were amused by the 'smartest horse in the world' and his discovery!

We have our good days and some not so good. The pictures of our dear Frodo keep coming to our mail box and rear porch door.....paintings of Eric & Frodo by local artist Don Davis which are an unbelievable labor of love and respect for my daughter. I came in the door with a big smile 2 nights ago to a big box waiting in my hallway.....Frodo's ashes. I can not convey the deep dark spot in my soul that remains there in his absence. My life has been like the Griffin roller-coaster ride at Busch Gardens....one day you are up....the next you plummet down. I am careful not be too emotional in Laine's company as she is on the mend....but I let my hair down calling her grandmother or my dearest friend Lynnie. Both my mother and Lynn have always supported our endeavors and I am fortunate to have extra shoulders to lean on. It all seems so fresh. The accident happened 2 months ago....yet it seems like yesterday. I ALWAYS find peace in one thought that prevails beyond my grief. Laine pulled through April 26th. She remains with me today when somewhere in her darkest hours in ICU she rallied for survival because she confessed she would never have left me alone. We have a promise between one another. When I am put away in a nursing home, I will see this little white convertible pull up...with a gorgeous lady and red scarf blowing behind the wheel and that will be my 'knight in shining armor' my own mother promised me growing up. And for Laine's 'warrior mentality' even off her feet......I will forever be Blessed. Each and every day remaining in my Life. Together we are finding our ways through this fog. I can face the rest of Life's turmoil now because we made it through this, and step by step we are inching forward.

As always, I can't thank you enough for the continued support that fuels positive thoughts in my day to day life. I am awakened spiritually to realize how fortunate we've been to have friends all around the world who are still concerned with my daughter's progress.I hope in the years to come....if any of you see me at the events or on cross country ....you will stop me for introductions, but only momentarily for it is the vision of Laine and her partner that puts wind in my sails to continue with our dreams and the pursuit of excellence that makes life so worthwhile.

Valerie

Update For Our Friends

Good Morning our dear friends,

I have not talked with all of you for quite some time now. I felt I should give an update on Laine's progress.

We have been to numerous doctor appointments. Each doctor represented one of the multiple injuries on Laine's slender more than ever body. Laine's Jenny Craig diet before KY has nothing on the 'wiring jaw' approach! She looks lovely, but then again.....I always thought she did.
We are on that road to recovery. Right smack down the middle lane. All systems forward. We encounter only green lights and that is all we accept. Again, I see that "Warrior Mentality" in Laine. We made changes to our competition calendar for fall.....and it has actually been nice not getting up crack of dawn hours and following a serious schedule. Our horses have been spoiled rotten. They look like little aliens with their ears all pricked sporting all of their new fly masks grandma bought them! Life is coming back slowly to Crow's Ear Farm and even Dos, our attack rooster is on his game for attacking my little pink Tracker as we pull each day into our drive! Boy it is so funny how the tiny nuances in Life can pull you together and make one appreciate the good we all have around us.
Family. Friends. Furred & feathered. At about the same time our dear boy Frodo departed this world, along came a tiny solid black with white dot (how ironic is that?)small, 4 week old kitten....abandoned on our road where our friend Jessica Bowen rescued and brought her in. She was caretaking my farm while Laine and I were in KY and we call our new hobo "Princess Arowyn" after our beloved Lord. Of the Rings.
Arowyn scampers all around our feet and is one of the most adorable and happy little kits I have ever been around. Laine especially.....loves her. I know Frodo and this is his attempt at saying "my Lainey, I am never too far away from you...ever". God we miss him. Beyond words. It is a heavy swelling deep in our soul that triggers relief by emptying water with every minute of memory we embrace of his sweet existence. No doctor can mend that break. Laine is extremely fortunate to have had 8 years with her Frodo and a partnership she will never duplicate. We had the privilege to know and love Frodo and within that spanse of time together he added and changed so much in our lives.
Laine's father came for a visit from CA and the vision of his daughter laying in the ICU bed with tubes everywhere diminished as she walked up and slowly put her arms around him. I know that feeling. It is the same one I have that releases water. We as parents have been blessed. We are so fortunate. God gave us another chance for happiness. No matter what happens in each of our 3 little lives......we return to this thought.
Life is delicate. It is a Gift. What we make and take from it is most precious. Looking back on my 52 years of life, I was fortunate to be raised from the love of my devoting mother and father. Their love is infinite. My brother who has always been my hero as he watched over me growing up....I cherish. We will combine our lives when I get back home. Laine's father. Michael. Ironic. Today would have been let's see....our 31 year anniversary. I am smiling. He gave me the greatest gift of my life. Even in our divorce we remain rocks for one another and for our daughter. Sources of strength. Positive energy. Everything we 'just' missed out in our lives that brought us heartache was put in it's place when Februrary 10, 1984 the REAL DEAL was born. From that point on I have been running across fields dashing in and out of roped gallop lanes.....following daughter Laine and her pursuit of her own dreams. Just as my mother and father did for me. And how Michael and I did starting out. Everyone has them. A dream.

In this life what matters most is how you achieve them. The road we journey to those dreams offer undiscovered treasures along it's long and winding way.......those being our families with their inexhaustible support and the incredibly bounty of friends we are so lucky to 'find us' along the way. Opening up those treasures one discovers themselves. Riches beyond belief.

Happy Wednesday, June 11th everyone. We all have something to be thankful for this day.

thank you for all your continued support.......
Valerie

Update and a Wonderful Surprise!

8:45am Tuesday, May 20th
I have been busy with follow up appointments for daughter Laine and keeping the barn people happy while we are on the mend. Laine is looking much better as swelling is going down and she is able to shower, dress and walk about a half mile on her own! She complains of pain in her jaw and back but the meds seem to help take the edge off. Now the 'baton' will be handed over to a friend of ours, Dr. Marc Warner, whom is a vascular surgeon and will coordinate follow up visits with specialists. Dr. Talton, DDS. has taken Laine under his wing and promises to give her that white beaming smile back when the wires are taken off and she is able to "open" her mouth for repair procedures. Laine has all of her teeth but her bite is off and some of her front teeth have roots exposed due to the injury. Time will tell if these will be problem areas but Dr. Talton assures everything is 'fixable.' We have had such an incredible support system with doctors and friends.....right from the beginning! Our neighbors have brought over scrumptious meals.....home cooked....that even I fight over to get my hands on before Laine!!!! Who cares if they are 'mandatory' straw meals......they are DELICIOUS!! We have so much to be thankful for......and being home.....it seems the second wave of loving support has 'unfurled.'
We are trying to get Mazetto. I guess he misses Laine and though he is in a lovely pasture with "Dan"...Winsome Adante, everyone there says he needs to be back with Laine. I could not agree more and so we are on a mission to try to bring him to Crow's Ear Farm and that infamous stall #2. I will keep all of you updated on our progress. Laine has already spoken of Fair Hill *** in October and her 2 rides there with Alex and Eric!!!! I so much feel a gray hair coming on to add to my Bonnie Rait collection!!!! I am so proud of her and the 'pioneering' spirit Laine possesses. Her happiness is what I want most. And like her coach Buck....this passion for riding runs deep in her blood. I will support her. Valerie Dorice Ashker

So the Surprise???!!

May I introduce the young, amazingly talented, beautiful & bright, intellectual, UVA graduate, courageous and brave-hearted epitome of "warrior mentality" Laine Evion Ashker!

Hello everyone
I know it's probably seemed like an eternity since I've last written, however, in my defense, my life has seemed much like a whirlwind recently. First and foremost I need to express my thank you's. The first people on my list have to be my parents and my close family (this includes you Brandon), which most of you have already pointed out in all of the lovely cards that have been sent. Throughout this terrible nightmare, my parents have been like steadfast pillars, unwavering in the turbulent winds that have been heading our direction. I have been so proud of them because instead of giving up and panicking through this situation, they've become stronger and allowed me, the one who supposedly never shows her weaknesses, have a rest and shed many tears on their shoulders. Next, I would love to thank all of the horse and non-horsey people alike, who have expressed their support through flowers, emails, gifts, telephone calls, letters, or words. Let me tell you that these things, although perhaps nnot outwardly, have really aided my healing as it is nice to hear there are people on my side, hoping my recovery is a speedy one. Lastly, I would like to thank those who have been writing/saying terrible things about Frodo and I to the public: you have once, again inspired me to rise about the standard of expectation. It's funny because whenever Buck told me that it was impossible to do something (ie: make the optimum time on a xc course), it gave me such a huge push to strive for it even more! Thus, I hope at Fairhill later this year, I will prove you all wrong. That's all I have to say about that....moving on.
Life since I have been home has been pretty slow going, which for us eventers, is the hardest type to deal with. I have had an abundance of visitors which has been nice because it keeps my mind moving on, and not dwelling on what happened nearly three weeks ago. This has been, by far, the toughest thing I have had to deal with. I would like to say that at the age 24, I have many more years to live so there will be even more difficult times that lay ahead, but if that were to be the case, and if I really believed that, I think I would have given up a while ago in the UK hospital. Losing Frodo has completely turned my world upside down. Frodo was not only my best horse, but my best friend, the horse I wanted to see first when my beloved Jamie passed last year. He embodies everything I want to be. So, losing him has caused a lot of suffering and pain that I am sure wont be healed long after the rest of my body does. On a brighter note, it was so nice to see how he affected other people's lives as well. Many strangers wrote just to say he was the most beautiful horse they'd ever seen, or because of his history with the movie Lord of the Rings, people who don't even watch the sport tuned in to see him. I must say that I was lucky to have had him for the 8 years I did.
So, what lay ahead for me? My plan is to be back riding sooner than later...DUH! The only thing really holding me back are my ribs because whenever mom is driving and there is a bump in the road this terrible pain shoots down my back...so that is a bit problematic. I have to speak with Buck about a schedule but since I missed Jersey Fresh with Al, I plan on doing Fairhill with him. If I should find my beloved Mazetto back in my barn before then, I'll plan to bring him there as well. I also plan on teaching as soon as my wires come off of my teeth. I taught mom a lesson on Alex the other day, but because my mouth is wired shut, the volume of my voice is quite low which makes it difficult for anyone who lacks a bit in the hearing department.
So my Olympic dream for this year has officially been eradicated. However, I wish those who travel to China the best of luck and I have all my faith bestowed in the fact that the US is more than ready to bring home a few gold medals. I am thankful that I got the chance to go over last year, which eases the disappointment a little. Next goal for me? World Games in Lexington in 2010 and London in 2012. I want to thank all of you for being so supportive and kind to my mom and I in this time of need. You will see me back in the saddle sooner than later. I look forward to seeing all of you at the shows. Please keep my Frody in your hearts and minds as you ride as I know I will for the rest of my life. Thank you so much! Until next time, shoulders back, leg on, and chin up!

Sincerely,
Lainey

Happy to be home!

10am Friday, May 16th

I am so absorbed in getting back into the 'routine' here at Crow's Ear Farm that I have missed a couple days of postings! I am sorry for that and I know all of you want to know how Laine is doing.
She is doing well except for her daily walk to the barn and seeing the vacant stall #2. This part of her recuperation will be a lasting pain that will just have to be managed with Time. Her traech opening on her throat is healing well and becoming minimal along with her face and the swelling on her right side. Sleeping is a problem with the broken scapula and we have to be quite engineering to place pillows where they are needed for comfort. I am becoming a "Smoothie Queen" with the new processor and enjoy watching her sip up my efforts neatly through her Hardy's straw (I confiscated yesterday as they are wider than the normal package of straws we bought)! All is returning to some degree of every day life here on the farm.....I didn't even get bucked off riding both our 4 yr olds who have not got out on scheduled rides in quite some time!!!!!

Michael and I want to thank all of you for the love and support along with prayer chains on our daughter's behalf. Really, without your touching e mails......all this might have ended differently. I can't thank all of you enough.....but know it is from the bottom place in my heart. We are working on getting sponsership in acquiring Mazetto, Eric is his barn name.....so stall #2 can be filled with Laine's partner of 4 months and continue forward for wonderful years of adventure ahead.

I will write more in the next day or two.....meanwhile please know how thankful and appreciative we are in your love of Laine. I am astounded of the mail Laine is receiving and when we opened the box from Shawn Faust we fell apart. Tears of gratitude ran down both Laine and my face for in the box was this INCREDIBLE portrait of our dear boy Frodo so lifelike and amazing work of talent from a brush and unknown soul. How do I thank this lady? I guess hanging it in our hallway with Jamie's picture will have to do. And a daily dose of " I love you Frodo" greeting each new day........

the words Thank You can be so huge.......
Valerie

Monday Update

Monday, May 12, 2008

We get released TOMORROW and probably will start our drive back to Crow's Ear Farm on Wed early morning!!!! I think if we actually leave the hospital tomorrow before noon grandma and myself will take Laine to get a mani/pedi and brows beautified! I am so excited this is all coming to a close even though this hospital, the staff, the doctors and incredible nurses have been nothing short of Top Drawer. I can never Thank of these wonderful people for their beyond the call of duty care of our daughter Laine. I know their support has had so much to do with her walking out of here tomorrow. Along with ALL YOUR PRAYERS. thank you.

I will keep all of you posted as much as possible and was hoping to have daughter Laine step in. She has not been much about hearing or talking about horses at this moment but I believe it is her way of taking the first step in her emotional rescue and recovery. We are so incredibly proud of coach Buck taking 2nd yesterday at Jersey Fresh *** and then his horse got vetted to be looked at for the Team. How wonderful is that!!!!!!!!!!!! Our dear friend Amy got the blue and I can never thank her enough as well as Karen for their heartwarming phone calls. I love them for taking Laine in as their friend and fellow competitor making time to show their concern. Everyone at Jersey I guess were wearing Laine's colors on ribbons all weekend long. As we did for our dear Eleanor at Kentucky. Our comradery between all of we eventers is special and brings a comforting feeling when we hold the fort down together.

I close only for now and hope you all have a wonderful start to this week. I know getting home to see my dear friends Lynn Cruser and Jess Bowen will be the start of good times to come. Then seeing our 9 boys and 1 little prissy pony mare........
they all wait......for the fearless duo of mom and daughter....grandma too.....and get Crow's Ear Farm back on track for the remainder of this year.

I will never forget any one of your precious e mails.......my heart has been touched by so very very many.

sincerely,
Valerie

Here are a couple of pictures we'd like to share with you...

Room #653 Laine Ashker

Another view of #653 with Laine's monkey her nephew sent to her. That monkey was with Laine Sunday after her accident and remained in her bed till now. I know that stuffed animal will remain special for a very long time.

Sunday Update

10:15am Sunday, Mother's Day!

Short but sweet Laine is doing better!!!! I have been over an hour by her bedside helping her sip the ice water cup from a sponge applicator and she so much enjoyed that. My back has a cramp from leaning over so long!!! She asked me if I and grandma will continue to 'spoil' her when we get home!!!! Of course all of you know my reply!

Laine's possible discharge date is Tuesday, May 13th. We will know probably by tomorrow when the Blue Trauma Team meet and conclusively agree she is able to go home. I will inform all of you that news.

I want to wish all of you mothers a very special day today.........I never really appreciated these holidays until this one. I hope yours is filled with the happiness mine is.
That is my Mother's Day wish to all of you.

till tomorrow......
Valerie

Saturday Update

4:30pm Saturday May 10th, '08

This day has nearly gotten away from me! I have been continuously downloading precious pictures of our beloved Frodo and Mazetto for Laine to enjoy when the time is right. It takes ALL day to do this!!!!! I am so grateful to all of you who sent pics to me with some of those brilliant moments of Laine 2 weeks ago which now will never be lost. Thankyou. Your e mails have made my days brighter in the wake of disaster and beyond. When one door closes another will open and I have come to depend on all of you to rekindle that thought daily.

We will be going HOME next week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Laine might have her trachea tube OUT tomorrow and then be released as soon as Tuesday!!! Mom and I will slowly start our chores of packing up and organizing the van for Laine's transport. I will be driving Laine's convertible Crossfire! I am putting my lipstick on...Gucci sunglasses and BIG SMILE when I get into her car! We are going to celebrate LIFE returning to Crow's Ear Farm! Our 2 Shelties, Ivy & Huey will be waiting along with our 10 horses...5 chickens, our love bird Milly (KillMilly.com) (she is like a boomerang on Laine's shoulder!!!), cockatiel Angie whom I hatched and handfed 15 years ago, 4 barn cats, one of which is ET...she surely looks like it and a cat you will never forget, and just our beautiful farm with all the flowers in bloom and welcome home colors. I know Laine will be so happy to become attached again to our little place we have built up together. It has been a good home for sure.


Mom and I will take care of our girl 24/7 and I am going to assign Laine's first task of getting the mail! Things will slowly progress at a natural pace and we will be OK. It is directly a result from ALL OF YOU.

Boy oh boy........what a Mother's Day it will be. I have my "Peeps" back with me and that is all that matters. Really. When you think of it.......
My grandmother used to tell me "you can have a sweetheart any day, but not another Mother".
She was right. And I can validate it by MY mom being here.....myself and my daughter....3 generations.....strong as the Mt. Everest, deep as the Grand Canyon and free as the Monkeys on Gibraltar. It is our LOVE that conquers all. And WE are on our way back UP.

Happy Mother's Day

Valerie Ashker

My error on Update!

please note everyone it was my own error regarding Laine's e mail address. Her address is LaineyEA@aol.com

I will let you know when her bracelets become available.....they will be the same type as Ralph and Darrens'.

Laine is slumbering right as I type.......so incredible to see her content. And just now.....the sun is finally trying to peep thru these Kentucky clouds....

Valerie

www.laineashkereventing.com

Friday Update

noon on Friday May 9th

I was ancious to see daughter Laine this morning with my mother. I continued our morning routine minus Michael (who left yesterday) whisking off to Starbuck's at 6am for that cup of java joy to begin our new day. My mother and I two stepped out of those Starbuck doors!!!!

Laine looked GREAT! Her skin looks beautiful....her face has lost all the edema around the jaw line.....and she looks more comfortable this morning. We walked to the 'window area,' which is a 'marker' that has been her goal 4 times a day. We did a flight of stairs.....we will do them again too later today! She is supposed to get a new smaller trachea replaced today and possibly removed in 2-3 days totally!!! In fact we might get the thumbs up to actually get RELEASED within 3-4 days time....AND GO HOME!!!!

Laine is talking thru her trachea more clearly and called her big bro Buck to catch up on Jersey Fresh. He rides later today and I know she is anxious to hear about it. Between Kristin Bond, Karen O'Connor and Buck.....I think we have a really good chance of taking home that "8 St. James Trophy"!!! Every competitor there this weekend and organizers have Laine in their hearts. They are all wearing a ribbon of burgundy and gold in her honor. Laine's face squinted when she was told about it by friend Kristin and I grabbed Kleenex to cover Laines' throat from the stream of heartfelt tears. There are bracelets being made as well for Darren and Ralph...I will put them on the web site when they are available. We have so much support and it makes me realize why Laine is a 'miracle' here at UK. I love ALL of you for continued prayers and well e wishes........please continue with them. Again, Laine's e mail address is LaineyEA@aol.com.
Some of you are misspelling it so check to make sure you have it right.

I will write again shortly.....and I know when Laine is a bit stronger....emotionally......she will take the reins over from me and start writing. We all heal from this daily blogging and without all of you we would never been able to start and complete our recovery as well. THANK YOU.

I don't have many photos of our dear Frodie from Rolex so if any of you got some good ones.....please forward them. I have made 2 folders for Laine in future references she will see during her recovery and leisure....one of Mazetto and one of her beloved Frodo. I would like to get as many pictures as possible of both partners. Thank you again,

Valerie

Update 5/8/08

1:30pm Thursday 5/8/08

There is an emptiness in Laine's new room today....Laines' grandfather and Michael have left Team Ashker to get on their way with resuming their business and 'normal' lives at home. Both gentlemen take westbound flights to my sunny state of CA and I pray they are safe through their journey. Indeed it has already been a long bumpy ride. They both departed with a sense of contentment for Laine's recovery has been steadily marching forward.......of course just what all of us reading this, expected! Laine certainly is the epitome of her famous saying "warrior mentality". (Mind Gym, a book that is a favorite of hers).

I am not sure how long we will be here in lovely Lexington, KY. A week or so......it just depends on her daily progress. She is receiving a smaller trachea tube today....and that is the final step toward having it completely out! I am thrilled. I have made quite a few friends here...as I have through the internet and Laine's web page. Starbuck's continually welcomed us each morning at 5:30am with triple shots to jumpstart our day. Our incredible Mexican meals were always delicious at Abuelo's where Tonya, the lovely lady manager treated us like family. Ramsey's has the best fried chicken and I must admit that glass of Pinot Grigio was really satisfying at the end of each day after leaving the ICU unit at the UK hospital. Speaking of UK.....the nurses have been OUTSTANDING. I was so upset this morning when Hannah Hubbard, one of her ICU nurses came upstairs to say goodbye to Laine.... she cradled my daughter's life for 13 days with the magic in her heart and hands! How does one say "Goodbye" after this whole ordeal? A ''thank you"? I can't even imagine those girls realizing how much they mean to us. And Blue Team doctors. Their guidance kept our long and winding road on track and mapped out. This experience has been grueling and painful.....but these people have come into our lives and gave our daughter back to us. I will be forever grateful and never forget any of them.

Laine will slowly face life solo without her partner. This devastates me. I know and feel that deep pain ....and how it aches daily with the loss our my dear, dear boy Jamie. We will suffer together and each day will be a bit more bright as the adage of mine "Time and Sunshine" take effect. We were blessed to have these friends in our lives....and they added so very much to our spiritual happiness and confidence to compete in the sport we have trained in VA for 11 years now. We will have to do some renovating, some shuffling...and re-assessing as both Laine and I venture on to another road together. And that is the magic word right there. TOGETHER. I can get through this as long as we are together. It is from Laine I gain strength. I find my happiness and my reason. Primarily though, I find Me. I LOVE my daughter. After reading the hundreds and hundreds of e mails from mothers all over the world, fathers too.....I can say I am in huge company. All of you.....each e mail from people 8-99 (yes, 99 yrs old!)......should and could have been writers. Words straight from the heart. Poetry. Paintings and Seajack drawings. Memorials. Get well soon tapestries, flowers, cookie & fruit baskets. The computer age has not traded our humanitarian qualities. I always worried about that. I will not now. Perhaps my goal to ride across the country on my pony Willy, is not be as crazy as my family thinks! I love meeting people and making new friends.

I thank all of you for your encouragement and prayers. Being a mother and in the middle of my change of life I won't forget your daily dose of love and words of encouragement from this little lap top.

Whether I am changing Laine's cannula or watching my mother place her gorgeous flowers around the window ledge in her new room, I feel comfort and joy in knowing that I am not alone. I can do this. I am Laine's Mother.
and to all the Mothers in this world,

Happy Mother's Day. It certainly will go down in history for me...as my finest to date.

Thank You,

Valerie

you may send Lainey e mails to LaineyEA@aol.com and by all means keep writing me ValerieAsh@aol.com

http://www.laineashkereventing.com/

Thursday Update

Up to the Sixth

Yesterday marked a major milestone in Laine's recovery, for after twelve long, grueling, scary days in the ICU, she was moved to the Step-Down ICU and into her own room; a transition that confirms her recovery is well underway. Its a nice room, with a beautiful view of the University of Kentucky football stadium and surrounding campus. Yesterday was packed with small accomplishments; the variety that would normally go unnoticed. She took a short walk, made several trips to the restroom (with minimal assistance) and she enjoyed a liquid dinner consisting of soup, potatoes, juice and pudding. Early this morning, the nurse and I strolled Laine up and down the halls of the sixth floor. She enjoyed walking and told me that she felt stable, as if she could walk further and faster.

Late, yesterday, Lainey learned of the fate of her precious Frodo. Deep down I think she knew all along, but the look in her mothers' eyes when she asked the question, was enough to confirm her intuition. There is no preparing for such dismal news and even less when in the state she is in. The pain and emotion were palpable. I'm sure Val will write more this later.

Today, I'll finish by saying that we have turned a corner and rounded the bend and soon Laine will be headed home to Virginia. We've been reminded by many of Laine's many doctors just how fortunate she is and just how dire her condition was. Above all we are blessed, thanks to all of you and the special prayers you said for Laine.

Michael

Wednesday Update

Getting Better All The Time

Day twelve and another day of progress for our brave girl. This morning Laine had her last chest tube removed and along with it a major source of pain. She has plenty of others. These chest tubes create escape hatches for liquid or gaseous pressures that build up in the chest cavity as a result of trauma. Laine required three tubes. They are plastic pipes, about 3/4 of an inch in diameter and they are fitted into the chest by drilling a hole at the side so that the tube can be slipped through the muscles and inserted deep into the chest cavity. There are two settings that allow the tube to either aggressively suck (I.e suction mode) or to allow drainage-only called "water seal". The point here is that Laine had three chest tubes. They did their job, relieved the pressure, allowed for drainage, but hurt like heck.

Two other notable steps were taken today. The tracheotomy specialists provided Laine with a little device that fits over her tracheotomy port and allows for the exhaled air to be routed up through the mouth, thus producing the air that enables her vocal chords. So, for the first time in twelve days Lainey was able to speak. Think about not being able to speak for nearly two weeks --- after enduring the most emotional and difficult experience of your life! Well, sure enough, along with the words, came an outpouring of tears and emotion. Somehow I knew that was coming. Like a damn that bursts open once the first crack in the wall appears. In any case, it was a welcome relief and probably the first of many. But since the adapter restricts airflow, it can only be used for short spurts initially. What's clear is that soon enough, Laine will be asking the hard questions. What happened? Why? Asking about her horses? These will not be easy conversations.

The other major milestone is that Laine had a swallowing test, which she passed with flying colors and was cleared to drink. So, her first meal was apple juice with an apple sauce chaser. Yum! I'm sure those little morsels tasted just as good to her as a Thanksgiving day feast to the rest of us. This afternoon there is talk that Lainey will be moved out of ICU and also physical therapy will come to work with her and get her mobile again. It's all part of the healing process that is now well underway. So, it really is getting better all the time and we are all ecstatic with Laine progress.

Thank you all for reading.

Michael Ashker

Tuesday's Update

Miracles & Medicine

The saying goes “the miracle of modern medicine”, but in Laine’s case I see it as “Miracles and Medicine”. I know it sounds rather cliché, but Laine’s recovery has been nothing less than a miracle. While she is not entirely out of the woods, she is certainly out of the thick of it and well on her way back. She is down to a single chest tube (they decided to leave #3 in for one more day) and she has been breathing without the ventilator for more than 30 hours. She’s able to write notes now and communicates with hand gestures. She even asked for her iPhone today. (I’m not sure what she thinks she can do with it.) She has been improving so quickly that even her doctors are amazed (or should I say, they are especially amazed)? For they; more than anyone know how delicate and dire things were in Laine’s most critical hour. This makes me believe “miracle”. But this is not to take anything away from the doctors and healthcare professionals here at University of Kentucky, because they were brilliant.

When Laine was airlifted here at 4:10PM on Saturday, April 26^th, she was critically injured. The Blue Trauma Team jumped into action. With both her lungs collapsed and the right one having multiple lacerations, the Team made their initial assessment and stabilized her quickly. At that point the broken bones and jaw, while severe in their own right, were secondary. At that moment and for the next couple days, Laine’s very survival was in question. The Blue Team considered emergency chest surgery, but decided to give it time and to watch and wait. The wait paid off and Laine stabilized more and eventually began improving. Dr. Boulanger, Laine’s primary physician and senior member of the Blue Trauma Team at U of K, is a fine doctor. He, along with his other team members, Dr. Sonka and Dr. Bernard, have also done an outstanding job. The results speak for themselves. They made the right prognosis and prescribed the right treatments. Beyond the medicine, they were all personable, engaged, informative and caring. We can’t thank them enough, but would guess that Laine’s recovery is all the thanks they really need.

Soon Laine will be moved out of the ICU. That should happen by tomorrow, some eleven days after her fall. This hospital, for its size and scope, is a well run facility yet no function is more important than the minute-by-minute care that Laine received from her ICU nurses. We need to give them special acknowledgment. So, Debbie, LeAnn, Tracy, Hannah, Patti, Michelle and Ester, you were all exceptional nurses and masterfully performed your duties with the utmost care. Doctors prescribe, but nurses perform the myriad elements of treatment, minute-by-minute, day and night.

Finally, I can’t move on without extending further thanks and deep gratitude to everyone who expressed their love and concern for Laine. Soon she’ll be able to enjoy your cards, letters and emails. For those of you who have offered up prayers for Lainey, thank you. Those prayers have been heard and answered; and we’ve witnessed a true miracle.

Michael Ashker

10am Cinco de Mayo

Michael has wonderfully written the last 2 updates....after reading them I had nothing to add. Now, my turn..

Laine is a fighter. With the pain killers being reduced such as Morphine drip.....she rallies forward to her recuperation. Some moments she looks incredibly frustrated, other moments deeply emotional as to what and why she is at UofK. For a mother....this absolutely breaks my heart. I tell her that this will be the most difficult part of the "long & winding road" for she has to set a pain threshold and 'be comfortable in the uncomfortable'. (those of you close to Laine....will smile at that line). She nods and only once in awhile does Laine wake with a grimace of terror and heartache stretched across her beautiful face as if reliving that tragic moment. That too, kills me inside. I still have yet to inform my precious baby daughter that Frodo, the love of her life.....is gone. Timing will make itself clear as to when that moment will be justified. Laine has remained strong throughout these 9 days and I with her father Michael.....are so proud of her. She is making our roles as parents more bearable through this horrific ordeal. She knows us so well. It's those qualities that make her stand-out, embrace Life, love people and be thriving with her equine children that make our 24 yr old daughter so special. Laine will be an incredible asset down the road for young and old alike..and example of a real champion and Olympic competitor. If I am able to find a gentleman down the road with even half of her qualities.....it will be a lovely surprise. I am forever grateful that someone Greater did not separate the Ashker duo and that perhaps I might wear my red cowboy boots and chase Laine from out of the start box soon once again. I love Life. I love that some of us are fortunate to get second chances. I am a very happy woman and proud to be Laine's mother.

The left chest tube came out this morning. Laine sat up in a chair yesterday....a request she made known 2-3 days ago, but she lasted only 5 minutes or so.....due to her ribs and lack of strength. It's ok.....the chair will be waiting for today's progress. One of her nose tubes was taken yesterday too.......so now remaining is the feed tube.....Jenny Craig diet extreme! With her jaw wired shut Smoothie King will be Laine' new breakfast of Champions! Lunch and dinner too. 6 weeks.....then grandpa's fried Chicken! Grandma's lemon meringue pie will nicely process in a straw! I can't wait for her to come HOME.........
we might be moved to another floor in 2-3 days after she is completely off the drip line, ventilator and remaining lung tube. Lainey is getting quite a bit of rattle in her trachea tube so that needs to minimize so a nurse doesn't have to clear it every 2 hours. Physical therapy will lie ahead and counseling from loved ones and counselors to get her to manage her grief. Eric and Alex along with Baby Seajack will undoubtedly be the richest sources of inspiration for her to rebuild. Boy do we love our horses. So vital for our personal happiness in life.
I will now close and go to the little cubical to be with my girl and watch her sleep.......and pray her recuperation will be continued daily step by step progress. We are so damn lucky. We have an angel watching over us. Both Michael and I are blessed to have Laine Evion Ashker as our daughter. What did I ever do in my life to deserve such a gift? I grab it without question and will never look back.

time to knit beside her bedside...my mom's sweater is looking great....just like my baby.

Valerie

Laine’s Medical Update – Sunday, May 04, 2008

One Small Step

Things have been rather quiet in the ICU over the weekend. I believe that’s a good thing, since the ICU deals exclusively with major trauma cases. I got to thinking about the contrast between the incoming patients; so very fragile and struggling to hang onto their very lives and the outgoing patients; who have made it through the toughest part of their trauma and are well on their road to recovery. Laine is definitely in this later group. However, in order to make that transition, Laine needs to demonstrate her ability to breath on her own with no assistance from the ventilator. Yesterday, they actually tried that arrangement for the first time and for a good portion of the day, she was breathing with nothing more than the high octane oxygen cuff that sits over her tracheotomy port. Eventually they had to put her back on ventilator assistance as her carbon dioxide levels got elevated. Nothing too discouraging. They will try to switch back to oxygen only again later today.

Laine is showing good signs in other areas as well. One of her three chest tubes were removed this morning. The plan is to remove one tube each day, which will have her tubeless by Tuesday. At the same time, they are starting to cut back on her morphine and as they do she is coming in and out of consciousness more often and staying more lucid for longer periods.

But the really great news of the day is this; if Laine can transition off the ventilator, they are going to wheel in one of those big therapeutic easy chairs and see if she can sit on her own for a few moments. That small distance may prove to be a long trip, but one that will represent a major turning point.

Thanks to all for following Laine’s progress and for tuning into her website.

Michael Ashker

Laine's Medical Update - Saturday, May 3rd, 2008

The Long & Winding Road to Recovery

Today will be a full week since Laine's accident. During the past week Laine's broken body parts have been tested, treated, reset, relieved, patched and presently, stabilized. There is little more doctors and nurses can do, having done the bulk of their incredible handy work during the most critical period of time. It now comes down to time; the slow arduous process of healing the many broken pieces of body and spirit. The long and winding road to recovery has now begun with Laine's jaw surgery being completed yesterday. Procedures going forward will focus on "taking out or off", rather than "putting in". Soon Laine's chest tubes will be removed, having been reduced to their lowest setting as of this morning. The ventilator weaning steps have been implemented and if all goes well, Laine will be breathing on her own in a matter of days, with only an apparatus that feeds oxygen into the breathing port in her neck. The latest addition to her myriad challenges being a tightly wired jaw.

My heart breaks for my daughter each time I see her grimace and thrash about in a semi state of consciousness, as she motions to get out of bed and off of the restrains that bind her motion. She's still so vary disoriented, yet will awaken suddenly in horror; as though she is re-living her terrible fall and at the same time gripping with the inevitable realization that her dream of making the 2008 Olympic team has been shattered, just as badly as the broken bones of her body. Both realities are intertwined and hit with a powerful force. This quest is what has driven and defined her for the past couple years of her life. She is not ready to receive the truly devastating news of the loss of her beloved Frodo. Laine is such a brave kid. Determined, to a fault and dedicated to a cause, she has lived with a single minded focus. But still, at least through her father’s eyes, a little girl.

So, today we start the long and winding road to recovery. Getting off the ventilator and eventually the healing of the tracheotomy passage. Learning to adjust to a liquid diet. Dealing with the excruciating pain of eight broken ribs where each life sustaining breath comes with a price of pain. Then, the emotional trauma of forfeiting a dream so close to attaining - - that was taken away in a mere instant and along with it, her special horse. A horse she trained herself, day in and day out, while carrying a full load of classes while attending University of Virginia . A life changed, abruptly shaken, without warning or preparation; the proverbial “card” that she has been dealt. All these things will test her metal. So, while her broken body has been reassembled and is ready to heal, the living spirit is about to be tested. As her father (and second biggest fan), all you can do is offer help, encouragement and love. The real battle is Laine's to bear. Soon she'll be asking questions, trying to make sense of it all. It will be at this point, she'll need her friends, her family and her fans, more then ever before.

Thank you all for your kind and considerate emails, cards and letters. And thank you for your heart felt prayers. Having witnessed Laine’s terrible fall and the immediate aftermath, I feel more blessed than anything else. Laine will walk out of this hospital on her own strength, she will ride her horses again and she will enjoy the full measure of her life.

Michael Ashker