Preparation is Paramount

     The week long break between Rocking Horse III and Rocking Horse Spring horse trials seemed to come and go with the blink of an eye.  It also turned out to be one of the most informative weeks of lessons I will ever have and never forget.  I had all three ponies entered in the spring horse trials at Rocking Horse and because they had a long relaxation period, I decided that the idea to go XC schooling a few times would be a smart one to get their feet wet...in every sense of the phrase.  XC schooling is one of my favorite pastimes as Buck usually takes a large group consisting of all levels, and everyone doing their own course makes for an extremely exciting time.  However, this time was different.  Instead of the large group, it was only my three horses, my amazing groom and friend, Jennifer Curley, and myself.  I should say that it is awesome to get all of Buck's undivided attention, however, with this prize comes the consequences because he was able to find small yet important flaws in my riding.  In just two days, Buck had to teach me how to ride my advanced mount, Anthony Patch, in a much softer way than I had before.  Alex is such a careful and sensitive horse, sometimes my driving and more defensive xc seat becomes more of a hindrance than a helpful one.  In addition, we changed Alex over into a new, slightly easier bit for xc to encourage him to gallop rounder which would allow me to have more connection and control in between the obstacles.  Needless to say, I was a bit nervous before the horseshow that weekend as my style of riding had been drastically changed to suit one horse.  This means that I would have to reformat my riding for Al, and then go back to the defensive riding for my young, more green horses Seajack and Fancy.  

     The two days of practice certainly worked out well for the show on the weekend.  Al took home the blue again with a fantastic run around the intermediate course.  I truly feel that after this run, he is prepared and eager for his progression to Advanced next weekend at Southern Pines.  Seajack jumped superbly in the show jumping and although showed some greenish tendencies around the xc with a stop at the water, I feel that he is more than ready for what Intermediate questions throw at him and just needs some more practice at "diving into" them with more tenacity.  Fancy was a star as she put in a lovely dressage test and had a beautiful double clean xc.  In just three shows and about a month down in Ocala, this little mare is really showing that she is enjoying her job because of her astounding progression in both the dressage and jumping rings.  

     So, although we all learned a ton from the previous week, it was a necessary evil to change my format for Alex in order to improve myself as a horseman and rider.  Not all horses go the same way nor should they have to.  In the past I have been accustomed to riding keen and courageous horses across the country and now I am learning how to ride a careful horse positively without scaring him.  I guess I can say with the more horses I ride, my learning curve will forever endure...which to me is a good thing.  Anyhow, this week I am preparing for our pilgrimage up north to the Carolina Horse Park where all three will be showing off their stuff! In the meantime, I will be playing host as my amazing mother and grandparents are enjoying a week in the sun in addition to competing in a $5,000 Derby held at Overlook Farm with my boys.  Hey, we could all use some of that purse in these tough times!!!  Keep your fingers crossed that everything goes as planned...and if it doesn't, that we have our Plans B, C, and D carefully mapped out!!!  Take care and until next time, heels down, shoulders back, and kick on!!!

Let the games begin!!!

     And thus, the event season has started: the hustle and bustle of packing and unpacking and braiding and washing and loading and unloading...it seems endless and tiresome and yet, we eventers LIVE for it!  Buck was right after all when he told me that as soon as I arrived in Florida, the show season would help jump start my drive to compete once more!  He couldn't have been more right; perhaps that's the reason I am paying him the big bucks (no pun intended)!!!

     Although my horses and I have had a late start in arriving to Ocala in mid February, their performances in the past two shows demonstrated otherwise.  I had a week to prepare for our first show, Ocala Horse Trials, where both Alex and Seajack would be competing at Preliminary, and Fancy would do her first recognized event at the Beginning Novice level.  All three showed to be old pros in the game by placing in each of their classes.  Alex was 2nd, Seaj 3rd, and Fancy a respectable 6th in her BN division, which seems to be the most competitive and populated of the divisions.  Everyone performed impeccably, especially for only having been granted a week for preparation.  I was extremely proud to say the least.

     The next show on the schedule was the Advanced One Day held at Rocking Horse.  Although I would not be competing there this year (as I have the past five years in a row), I wanted to go to show support for my coach, Buck Davidson, who was riding six horses, which I believe should be officially added to the Guinness Book of World Records!!!  I was happy to lend a helping hand and once again be in a "grooming" position which were reminiscent of the days when I tirelessly worked for Stephen Bradley and Phillip Dutton.  There is something about caring for those horses that give their heart to you that I cherish most;  it's a feeling unsurmountable in comparison in my opinion.  

     The same weekend was the last leg of the Florida circuit marathon of events which would again be concluded at Rocking Horse Stables.  I had Alex entered in the Intermediate in addition to Seajack, which would be a first for him at the level.  Fancy also moved up to Novice level following her superb performance at Ocala.  I was also pleased to have the support from not only my steadfast groom, Jennifer Curley, but a surprise visit and lengthy drive by my mom and Yvette (Fancy's owner) definitely were what the doctor ordered.  With the horses and crew in tow, we were poised for a fantastic weekend!  And what a weekend it was!  Alex was his normal self and proved to be a gentleman in the dressage ring, and although a bit sluggish, pinned second in the class.  He is a constant project for me as his capricious attitude sometimes makes my decision whether to wear small or large spurs a difficult one.  Seajack was also a star!  After much thought about his lower frame, Buck and I decided that I should try and ride him in the double bridle to see if it aided me in teaching Seaj more self-carriage.  Indeed it was a success, as he scored a 39 in his first intermediate test!  Fancy was also lovely as she performed a spot-on test which placed her 6th out of twenty nine in the large and extremely competitive Novice Horse class.  Next up was the show jumping:  All three were fantastic adding zero penalties to their dressage scores and boosting their placements in their class to first, seventh, and fifth.  Cross country was equally educational as it was entertaining.  Alex proved to be an old shoe at the sport as he carried me around the course to win his class.  Seajack was very behaved and although had one refusal at the first water, he came away with a vast amount of experience as well as our first qualification towards our spring two star endeavour.  Fancy was also very good and although she was green at a few elements on the course, I was very proud in how far she has come so fast.  

     With that, the never-ending week of shows has come to a screeching halt.  The horses are back to relaxing in their stalls, enjoying endless hay and multiple bouts of grain and their riders and grooms soaking up the Florida sun and sleeping in thirty minutes later.  However, next week will be a different scene as the barn will back to the chaotic order in which we have all come to love and expect.  Next week I will be preparing for Rocking Horse Spring Horse Trials, where Alex and Seajack will once again tackle the intermediate course and Fancy the training level.  And now, as I finish writing this blog, all I can do is think, "Let the games begin!" Until next time, heels down, shoulders back, and HAVE FUN!!!  See ya!

Lainey

2009...A New Beginning...in more ways than one...

     Wow, it has certainly been a while since I have last posted a blog and I certainly have a vast amount of experiences and surprises in which to pass onto my audience.  First and foremost, I want to wish all of you a happy new year.  My new year started off great as Crow's Ear Farm was blessed with the arrival of "Calling All Comets," born on January 21, 2009.  Although he is quite small and cuddly, Comet has an endless amount of energy and can be quite a handful for his "surrogate" parents, both mom and myself.  Despite his haughty demeanor and lack of manners in the barnyard, I cant help but daydream about what this little colt will grow up to be.  All I can do is think about the future that lay in store for him as he blazes around the fields with his beautiful mother, Paula's Accolades, alongside.

     When the year began, my plans for Florida were a bit hazy as my finances were still in question.  However, always looking on the bright side, I began to leg my boys up with slow (and sometimes tedious) trot sets, which occurred as frequently as the weather allowed.  At the end of January, the funds were raised and the boys and I were poised to head down south to the sunshine state.  In addition, a dear friend of my mother's and myself, Yvette Shrewsbury, decided that she would like for me to ride her mare, Little Sorrow (aka "Fancy") for the winter to see if she has a career in becoming an event horse.  After a long day of packing with one of my best friend's and student, Jessica Bowen, and the rest of the Crow's Ear gang, both mom and I were set and eager to shove off to the warm weather.  On February 6, we did just that.  With mom heading up the caravan with three horses in tow, and me following closely behind in my car, we made great time in arriving to Buck Davidson Stables in just under fourteen hours.  The horses were ecstatic to see solid ground and gleefully cantered around in their pastures and rolled in the sand to celebrate their arrival to their new winter home.  Everyone settled in beautifully and within two days, jumping lessons were underway with my coach Buck, as my mom joyously clapped after each of my rounds.  I can't tell you how great it feels to be back down here in Ocala, to be doing what I love most, and to be alongside the people I respect most and who share the my same passion for riding and horses.  

     Tomorrow is the first show of the season for me and boy is it a packed one for the Crow's Ear team.  This weekend I will ride all three of the horses at the Ocala Horse Trials:  Alex is doing prelim, Seajack is doing prelim, and Fancy is doing her first recognized show ever at the beginning novice level.  I am quite excited and will be sure to update you guys as the weekend closes.  Until then, heels down, shoulders back, and kick on!!!

  2008 proved to be a year of tremendous victories accompanied with tumultuous struggles for both my mother and myself.  At the end of 2007, all we could do was think about the excitement 2008 would bring with the Olympics around the corner and my being placed on the Short list aboard my trusted partner, Frodo Baggins.  The year began extremely well as once again, my mother and father allowed my horses and I to train and compete in Ocala, Florida.  The ribbons piled high as the season came to a close, in addition to the confidence I had in actually being placed on the US Olympic Senior Squad for the Beijing Games (the equestrian venue was located in Hong Kong due to importation restrictions).  In anticipation for one of the final Olympic outings, formally called Rolex Kentucky CCI**** held in Lexington, KY, I had every reason to believe that my dreams would shortly materialize:  after all, I had three of the top ten horses in the USA (Frodo Baggins, Anthony Patch, and Mazetto), all my horses were in pristine condition, my health and fitness were at peak performance, and most importantly, my confidence in all these aspects was unparalleled.  The week before Rolex, both mom and I participated in the Florida CCI* and 1/2* with our more inexperienced horses.  I rode the first of our homebreds, Seajack in the CCI*, and mom rode her off-the-track Thoroughbred Solar Express who I like to refer to as “Sucky Solar” for obvious reasons (much to mom’s dismay).  The show was a great success with both Seajack placing in the top ten at his first three day event and Solar finishing twelfth with only one rail down in the show jumping.  Both mom and I were poised for what lay before us in the rolling hills of Lexington, KY.  

     The days leading up to my horrific accident certainly didn't foreshadow the huge brunt that would be bestowed upon the Ashker/Stephenson families.  Since I was one of four riders who had two horses at Rolex, there was little free time to spend with my family and friends.  However, even with my hectic schedule of autograph signings and course walks, my horses stepped up to the plate by putting in their personal bests in the dressage tests.  I can vividly remember seeing my adoring grandfather, all smiles of course, as Frodo and I exited the arena to the thunderous cheer of over 30,000 fans and seeing the score board notify us of our top fifteen placing.  I truly believe that was one of my proudest moments thus far in life, and feeling that I have truly accomplished my dreams, as was portrayed in my grandfather’s joyous and teary eyes.

     April 26 will be a date that I seldom forget, along with the rest of my family.  My first ride on cross country was atop a new yet experienced mount, Mazetto, who was previously owned by my dear friend Eleanor Brennan, who passed away at a show in November 2007.  Because her whole family was in attendance, an increasing pressure towered over both Eric (Mazetto’s barn name) and my head as we galloped out of the start box.  However, after over forty five jumping efforts and deafening applause from the 50,000 plus spectators, the finish flags appeared too soon!  Eric and I meandered our way into the finish with ample time to spare and a very proud and jumpy mother!  I was so proud to have lived one of Eleanor’s dreams of riding at Rolex, and I truly believe that she was the reason for both the brilliant ride I attained on Eric, and for my survival of what lay ahead.  

     As I mounted Frodo later in the afternoon I believed that the stars had aligned for our successful cross country round.  I was in a top placing, had a double clear on my previous mount who I only had ridden for four months, and this was both Frodo’s and my best phase.  A higher power must have had different plans for us.  As Frodo and I jumped the fifth element on the course, we must have taken off wrong as we fell to both of our demise.  Frodo was immediately transported to a nearby veterinary clinic where they tried to save his life but were unsuccessful.  Although I have never seen the video of my fall and only a few agonizing pictures, I want to make clear to everyone that I take full responsibility for what occurred.  Whether the accident was a freak one or a rider error (which I think was a bit of both), nothing will ever fill the void that April 26 left in my heart and on a daily basis I think about the ramifications of such a small error and desperately regret it.  

     Meanwhile, I was airlifted to the University of Kentucky, where I would stay for three weeks in the ICU.  My mother and father, along with my grandparents, and gentleman friend of mine and many fans visited my bedside while I lay unconscious in an induced coma for the first week in the hospital.  It truly felt like a horrible dream, and I can only imagine the pain my family went through seeing my fight for my life.  I admire my mother’s uncanny ability to handle the ceaseless media in such a abominable time.  She gave TV and newspaper interviews, all with the positive attitude of “upward and onward,” a motto that she has ingrained in me since day one.

     And thus the perennial process of healing began.  After three weeks in the hospital it was time for the long road home to VA.  Granny headed our squadron driving my sports car and mom and I brought up the rear in the more spacious rental car.  After ten long and painful hours we made it home safely.  The physical pain held little resonance compared to the amount of emotional pain I underwent as I ran down to the barn only to experience Frodo’s absence.  Granny and mom continued to nurse me to health, take me to countless doctor appointments, go on hour long walks as I slowly rebuild my strength, and sat by my side as the horror of reality slowly started to set in my mind.  I tell you, without those two women and their tireless care, my progression forward would have never occurred.  

     After granny went home to CA, mom and I were forced to try and go back to as normal as a life we could.  I started riding and teaching, and mom was finally able to pack away the blender, which she did eagerly.  We finished up the year with having completed three horse shows and have attained the normalcy in which Crow’s Ear Farm operates.  Both of us are relatively happy, certainly healthy, and we both are a lot stronger than what we were a year prior.  It is true what they say, you never know what you’ve got inside until it’s tested...I have to say, we passed with flying colors.  Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all!  Here’s to looking “upward and onward” to a fresh start in 2009!

*** On a side note, I want to thank my sponsors...Thinline, Heritage Gloves, FITS, Ulcergard(Merial), Flair Strips, and County Saddlery for being patient and understanding with me and sticking by my side in such a troublesome time.  This year has brought me a lot of pain and turmoil but has also forced me to grow up, in every sense of the term.  Thank you all for your support and see you out in the galloping lane in 2009!

Milestone Marker

As I trotted down centerline to halt at X, I exhaled a sigh of relief for at that moment, I was satisfied where I was and what I was doing in my life. I tipped my head and saluted-a deluge of rain poured into my lap from the spout of my helmet and I exited Solar on a long rein looking for my Thumb's Up validation, a sign from my daughter that met her approval with a beautiful smile. She always is close to me...and 30 feet from ringside is living proof of that. I could bet she learned that habit from her ole' lady!!!
WE WERE BACK!

As hurricane Hanna thrusted her might upon the East coast with a copious rainfall, we remaining riders equally rebounded back on our feet right back at her! EVENTING. The life blood of this sport. Those of us that remained had an unmeasurable amount of grit and determination to finish what we all started. It is so very obvious why Laine loves this sport......it is indeed a reflection of her own fortitude and stamina for Life. Men from the boys. This was certainly a horse trial without exception. By the time I rode following Laine.....it was a steady downpour that remained in that dismal state till just after dark. Only the 'die-hards' remained and the Seneca field of play was near empty in what would be the busiest time of the day for the organizers and judges. I rode my test almost 3 hours early because of the no shows and riders electing to call it quits. I walked back to the trailer looking at Laine saying to myself, "another fine mess kid"!!! I knew there was no way in Hell we would be loading our soaked ponies up and heading 95-South to the sheltering gate of Crow's Ear Farm! Not a chance. My daughter's conviction is the Rock of Gibraltar. It has given me strength to be a nurturing Mother when the most difficult of times came to cripple my life and hers on April 26th. I depend on Laine. As do the monkeys who thrive from that great rock they claimed home to. The two work together just as we both do. I am so incredibly fortunate to have the strongest influence remain in my life. I will forever be gracious to God for not robbing me of that bond.

We were greeted by so many fellow riders...."welcome back Lainey"!!! From our dear CA friend Stephanie Boyer to Boyd, Sharon, Tara, Matt, Jackie, Madness, and all our close comrades......both Laine and I found solstice in each person coming up in the terrible weather and making a point of Laine's first event back and congratulating her return . I Love all of You who gave a little bit of your time to make my daughter's struggle not go unnoticed and support her passion of this sport. There has been so much controversy and negativity associated with Rolex and pressure put on Laine's youthful shoulders. It is refreshing to know that our friends remain......Our Friends. I was tenderly reminded by Kathleen Flynn who read our daily hospital blogs that it was Time & Sunshine that mends most Everything. When she asked how Laine was really doing.....I responded but had a 'quiet' moment where emotions forbid me to speak further. She lovingly looked at me and said those very same words I advised readers. Now they were for me. And she was right. I walked away with a smile from ear to ear....and a tear or two that intersected that grin. I felt lighter in my steps as I made my way to the rig and homeward bound with my precious daughter beside me. Our horses were happy. We were happy. And Laine was in the omnibus looking for the next event! She felt so rewarded to be back in the loop from too long a hiatus.

I want to thank first and foremost, my Father and Mother for their loving and unconditional support through ALL of this year. And the many years before. The many years AHEAD. Laine said she is going to see her grandfather witness her in the next Olympic Games before time takes any of us.....for that smile from grandpa is what motivates her to rally onward. Laine is already an Olympic athlete in his mind.....but Laine wants the chance to prove it to him in all his and her glory. I feel she will get that chance indeed. Not only will the Ashker name be a recognized name, the Stephenson Shield of Arms will beam with pride and remain strong.

Which brings me to Ashker once more. Laine's father. Michael. I want to Thank You for your support in financially stretching to the outer limits in giving our kid the chance to live her dream as we did ours. From our 23 years of marriage and half of them struggling in the music business....we have gone through tumultuous ups and downs together in pursuit of 'making it' and now we follow our daughter's aspirations with the same zest for success. It is no surprise I call you when there is adversity in my life because we grew up together, won and lost together, and continue to support one another in our baby's struggle to be Happy and Fulfilled. You gave me my grandest gift. And only you. I thank you for understanding my idiosyncrasies and will take the gravy from our marriage to my grave. "If Almosts Counted".....no wonder I sang the hell outta your song....

My brother George and his wife Judy. I love you both so very, very much. The tough brother you were to me as your little sister carried me through this whole ordeal Georgie. You rescued me so many times growing up......and this would be no exception. And Judy. Your abundant prayers answered ALL. God could not walk away from all the prayer chains you started. I love you Jude.

Lynn Cruser, yo Baby! How in the world could I have got through each day without your silver Bug pulling up my drive at the close of each day to spin time talking over a good glass of wine??? I love you. When I move away....I will be lost without you.

I also know our 2 BELOVED boys Jamie & Frodo are looking down upon our convalescing souls and giving us strength to go forward in their absence. It has been an absolute struggle and immense heartbreak without them. It is a loss that painfully visits our hearts daily. I still have yet to change the feed schedules with their names on it. I probably never will. And Frodo's broom he chewed just the beginning of this year.....will be with me as a reminder of what happiness filled our barn of 11 years. I can say this. We always knew we had the barn of Kings.

Sunshine arrived to greet both Laine and I on Sunday morning with stadium first then finally cross country. We had a complete BLAST and Laine's ride was complete perfection aboard baby Seajack. That team will be a competitive duo next year. Hey, mom didn't do too bad either on Sucky Solar he's so 'affectionately' called! We got 2nd in our Training division. OK, OK.....out of 2!!! Looks like mom has more work to do. But then really, are Mom's 'work' ever truly done????

Time & Sunshine has brought me to this place in my life. And in this place are the friends and family I dearly love. And above that. The gift of Time and another chance I was blessed with to be with my daughter after April 26th. I see nothing greater than to maximize on that once in a lifetime Gift.

So look for me in my red boots and listen to the screaming send offs out of the box. That would be yours truly......doing what makes me most happy and proud......supporting the love and spirit of my extraordinary daughter Laine Evion Ashker.

It's SHOWTIME!

Hello everyone!

     Today I am writing you all to update you on how my first event back transpired over a tumultuous weekend.  As always, Seneca proved to be once again a well-organized and well-prepared horse trials...that is, until Hurricane Hannah showed her ugly face.  As mom and I watched the television the night before we were to leave for Seneca, we watched a swirling red cloud cross over directly where we were supposed to ride: Poolesville, MD.  However, being that we ARE event riders, the show must go on.  The ground jury hastily decided to run the training level over two days, much to my mother's and my dismay since that meant we needed to find stabling for our horses, and a hotel room for ourselves which equal one thing: more money! Both mom and I forwent braiding our horses since we honestly thought that the whole gig might even be cancelled.  We woke to our blaring alarm clocks at the bright and shiny hour of four o'clock (in the morning) and made our way to the barn where we very rudely woke up Solar and Seajack and loaded them up in the trailer.  At this point, none of the rain or high winds had appeared and we were beginning to think that our weather reporters should find another job.  Perhaps we spoke too soon?  The further north I drove, the heavier the rain poured.  When we arrived at Seneca, both mom and I checked in, retrieved our packets, and I began to tack Seajack up for his dressage.  As I was tacking him up, the announcer informed us that all dressage would run early and they would take people in a "first come, first serve" manner in order to get as many people through their tests as possible.  After about a five minute warm up, Seajack was more than happy to enter at A.  Even with the absence of much needed caulks, Seajack performed his test superbly and I really noticed a change in his frame from his first one star in April to now.  He really seems to be growing up and understanding what it means to be a "big boy" (for those of  you who know me, you know what this term means).  I can honestly say that as I rode my test, I had a tranquil sobriety about me; simply stated, it sure felt good to be back in competition.  I exited the ring and was embraced by a smiling and completely drenched mother who then went and got her horse tacked up to perform her dressage.  Both Solar and Seajack were stars.  Rain, snow, sleet, or sun...our boys never seem to disappoint. 

     I remember in February this year, at Rocking Horse, Frodo and I were in the lead by three points after dressage from Stephen Bradley and From.  I was preparing Frodo for our show jumping round when a storm accompanied with torrential downpours and excessive winds flew overhead.  As our division came to an end, Stephen and I saw the worst of the storm before the ground jury decided to cancel the rest of the days' events.  I remember my coach Buck warming me up with Frodo,  donning his rain gear he bought when we were in Hong Kong the previous year (that should tell you how hard it was raining) and yelling to me instructions as to how to jump a clean round in such impossible weather, only half of which I could hear.  Stephen went before me and as the rain beat down on us, I saw he had a rail with From which gave me a little breathing room for the lead.  As I entered the ring with Frodo, the rain and wind increasingly grew stronger and more perilous.  I recall thinking to myself as I cantered toward my first fence that if we could jump a clean round in these conditions, Rolex would be a piece of cake.  Again, my Frodo failed to disappoint...with knees jerked high and amazingly keen eyesight, Frodo navigated around the course like it was beginner novice level.  Most of the fences I could only see through small squints of my eyes since the rain was hammering down so hard...I really had to leave the rest up to Frodo, and as always, he came through for me.  

     Seajack did the same as his older brother by jumping a beautifully clean show jump round the next, and way more enjoyable, day.  Because it was his first show since the one star, I went quite slow across the country but I was thrilled with how confidently he answered every question asked of him.  Mom also did a great job on Solar having only one rail in SJ, which is a remarkable improvement for them, and a confidence building cross country.  Although the weather proved to be less than desired, the show as a whole was a major success for Team Ashker and Crow's Ear Farm.  I must say that as I watched my fellow comrades traipsing through the mud and sideways rain, I came to the conclusion that event riders are not only crazy, moreover, they are the most compassionate people that I know.  It was such a joy to see good friends like Boyd Martin ("Boydy"), Ryan Wood ("Woodsy"), Sharon White, Stephanie Boyer, and Jennie Brannigan, and Leslie Law all with perennial smiles on their faces even when uncomfortably drenched...one thing is for sure, eventers sure love what they do.  It feels great to be back, and even greater to be back riding against and with my eventing family.  Thank you all for your support through this time...as promised, I am back...eventing just wasn't the same without the Ashker girls...until next time, heels down, thumbs up, elbows in, and kick on!

PS.  I want to wish the BEST of luck to my coach, Buck Davidson, who is riding his short listed mount, Ballynoe Castle RM ("reggie") at Blenheim CCI*** in England next weekend.  To see results, go to www.blenheim-horse.co.uk.  Good luck COACH!

Good Friends never let you down

Hello all!
Thought it may be a good time to write since I have had a hiatus from writing these blogs. In comparison to most of the world I have been actively watching the Olympics, staying awake until the wee hours of the morning, as well as desperately falling in love with the great Michael Phelps! In contrast to most of the world, I have felt extremely disappointed, saddened to have been to close to attaining a life-long goal at the age of 24, only to fall short and worst of all, lose my life-long partner, Frodo Baggins. My mom recently told me(she read this in an email) that, "you should never look at life through your rear view mirror; rather, life should be viewed through the huge front windshield." This, held a lot of merit as I thought about it more and more. As I watched our team take on the xc at Beas River I began coaching them (which didn't seem to work, probably because of the time change) and reminiscing over my experience with the course and how many of the same problems the horses and riders were facing, both Buck and I noticed after crossing the finish lines. However, I was mostly glad to hear that the xc day was a positive day for the sport, with no injuries incurred by either horse or rider despite a few harrowing falls. Now as I type I look on to London. I will now center my focuses on my now two top mounts, Anthony Patch and Seajack, in hopes to find in them what I have had the honor of experiencing by riding horses like Eight Saint James Place, Frodo Baggins, and Mazetto. I cannot feign my disappointment in not having the chance to compete for my country, however I can rest assured knowing that I was given the chance to compete at the exquisite Hong Kong Olympic venue and know that because of my youth and determination, more Olympics are in store for me...now, the hard part of filtering through the horses (figuring out who has the heart, talent, soundness, and mental stability) to achieve that level is the next phase. However, this is my FAVORITE part as I really haven't once been let down by any of my ponies; and if I find they do not want to partake in the rigors eventing has to offer, I will happily move them on to a barn that will fulfill their needs and how my mother always puts it," where they can be a star in someone else's barn." I just don't see that happening...
The next topic of focus is my fall eventing schedule. After speaking with my coach we both came to the conclusion (honestly it was Buck more than I that was persistent) that I would start at Seneca Valley, at the training level. I originally entered Alex, but after some thought, switched horses and now Seajack will start off the season at Training. At the end of September I plan to take both of my boys to Middleburg horse trials at the preliminary level. That is as far as I have planned. It has been very hard for me to NOT have a goal to strive for in each season...sometimes I feel as if I am being left behind...however, I know that taking this extra time to come back to the sport will only help rather than hinder.
Finally, I must express my gratitude to a few very special people. Last night, my top student (who happens to support the sport of eventing but only compete in straight dressage) Celia Rafalko had a "Welcome back to the Saddle" dinner party in my honor. My adoring mother, Lynn Cruser, Anne Mary Bettenson of my supportive sponsor County Saddlery, Celia, and her husband Rick were in attendance. My dear friend Jessica Bowen was supposed to come but sadly had to cancel last minute as she fell ill. Not only was the dinner extremely appetizing but the company really made me feel supported and loved. I can't express the gratitude I felt as all of these people drove out of their way to show their support for me, my horses, and our dreams. Then the surprise came...Apparently, unbeknowenst to me, my sponsors, County Saddlery had a portrait made of my beloved Frodo. As Celia unveiled the portrait, I could no longer hold in my emotions. Never in my life have I seen a more beautiful and lifelike portrait of my Frody. God blessed Frankie Pardoe's hands as she spent days and hours trying to capture the magnificence of the great and gentle Frodo Baggins. As soon as I saw the artwork, Anne Mary dialed Frankie's number (mind you, this was all extremely well-planned and executed) as I told her how much I appreciated her taking on such a difficult task of capturing something that epitomized perfection and grace...my Frodo Baggins. I just couldn't get over the fact that all of these people were here for me, to support me, to assure me that they want me to carry on and continue to succeed, and most importantly, all of these people BELIEVE in me. I was clearly overcome with emotion. I am now trying to find the perfect place to mount my Frodo...somewhere where he can watch over me at all times and keep me safe from harm as he always has. This will be a difficult task...
So now it's time for me to head back to my daily viewing of the Olympics. One day I too strive to be the like Michael Phelps and attain greatness in my sport. There really is no definition of greatness but if you had to capture it's essence in a few words, his name would be on the tips of most everyone's tongues...he is certainly added to my list of inspirations. Thank you all for being so supportive of me through this time. Come Sept, Crow's Ear Farm will be back in action...until then, heels down, elbows in, and push forward.

Lainey