Wednesday, April 30, 2008

April 30th at 11am in the ICU wait room

Laine continues to progress well. Yesterday was hard on me because the nurses are gradually lowering Laine's sedation so if I went to kiss my daughter's precious forehead or hand she would wake and struggle to get up. It is a horrible situation to watch your own daughter caught between the zones of medication and reality.

Laine goes for surgery on her jaw thank God today. She is third patient in the OR room so time is still up in the air as to when she actually goes. I am ancious to see my girl's face afterwards. Her jaw will be wired shut and they are putting a trachea tube in so ventilating will be more effeicient and easier for her to withstand. Her lungs are doing so much better ....I am so THANKFUL for her combative spirit. That's John Wayne stuff right there. Michael and I will update her surgery later today when she gets wheeled back to her ICU slot. My girlfriend of 30+ years is the designer and "keeper" of Laine's website so she will be sure to post it immediately. I can't even start to thank ALL of you for your e mails, calls, cards, gifts, and mostly PRAYERS for my daughter's recovery.....I love each and every one of you and all your efforts are paying off. There is NOTHING more precious than your own child. NOTHING.

Which brings me to our boy Frodo Baggins. Briefly, our devastation will be felt for YEARS TO COME. Laine's partnership with her boy will never be equalled. He is gone. We have only memories. While I was running this morning I thought of how in shock not only I am in but my family around me that he is even gone. When I drive home to Crow's Ear Farm and see my black beauty is missing from the famous "Jamie field" and stall #2......it will be another whole round of heartache and void that both Laine and I will endure. Laine's partner gave her confidance. So much is now gone for my beloved daughter. I am extremely concerned as to how and if she will even pick up the broken pieces and continue on with her eventing carreer. It will be a choice and decision only she can make. I have deliberately NOT mentioned Frodo on our website because Laine DOES NOT KNOW about his dimise. When she was first flighted into emergency on Saturday Laine's hands were bound but she was able to finger out the letters F_R_O_D_O on her sheets......I protected her from the truth and said Katie her incredible groom was taking care of him. Katie thank God, was the only one with him and said he remained our 'champion' even till the end. So please, until I can find the right moment to grapple the strentgh and tell Laine.....let's keep this "mum's the word". I need your continued support on this. I do believe this task, will be one of the most difficult ones for me to carry out.....and nurse along for the months and years ahead. I THANK ALL OF YOU.

Valerie

FLASH UPDATE:
12 NOON
the OR room is unavailable today due to emergency priorities. Friday will be our targeted date. Laine is having a tracheoscomy as I write to better her ventilating and possible breathing on her own. I will update later tonight or tomorrow regarding her procedure today.