Monday, May 5, 2008

10am Cinco de Mayo

Michael has wonderfully written the last 2 updates....after reading them I had nothing to add. Now, my turn..

Laine is a fighter. With the pain killers being reduced such as Morphine drip.....she rallies forward to her recuperation. Some moments she looks incredibly frustrated, other moments deeply emotional as to what and why she is at UofK. For a mother....this absolutely breaks my heart. I tell her that this will be the most difficult part of the "long & winding road" for she has to set a pain threshold and 'be comfortable in the uncomfortable'. (those of you close to Laine....will smile at that line). She nods and only once in awhile does Laine wake with a grimace of terror and heartache stretched across her beautiful face as if reliving that tragic moment. That too, kills me inside. I still have yet to inform my precious baby daughter that Frodo, the love of her gone. Timing will make itself clear as to when that moment will be justified. Laine has remained strong throughout these 9 days and I with her father Michael.....are so proud of her. She is making our roles as parents more bearable through this horrific ordeal. She knows us so well. It's those qualities that make her stand-out, embrace Life, love people and be thriving with her equine children that make our 24 yr old daughter so special. Laine will be an incredible asset down the road for young and old alike..and example of a real champion and Olympic competitor. If I am able to find a gentleman down the road with even half of her will be a lovely surprise. I am forever grateful that someone Greater did not separate the Ashker duo and that perhaps I might wear my red cowboy boots and chase Laine from out of the start box soon once again. I love Life. I love that some of us are fortunate to get second chances. I am a very happy woman and proud to be Laine's mother.

The left chest tube came out this morning. Laine sat up in a chair yesterday....a request she made known 2-3 days ago, but she lasted only 5 minutes or so.....due to her ribs and lack of strength. It's ok.....the chair will be waiting for today's progress. One of her nose tubes was taken yesterday now remaining is the feed tube.....Jenny Craig diet extreme! With her jaw wired shut Smoothie King will be Laine' new breakfast of Champions! Lunch and dinner too. 6 weeks.....then grandpa's fried Chicken! Grandma's lemon meringue pie will nicely process in a straw! I can't wait for her to come HOME.........
we might be moved to another floor in 2-3 days after she is completely off the drip line, ventilator and remaining lung tube. Lainey is getting quite a bit of rattle in her trachea tube so that needs to minimize so a nurse doesn't have to clear it every 2 hours. Physical therapy will lie ahead and counseling from loved ones and counselors to get her to manage her grief. Eric and Alex along with Baby Seajack will undoubtedly be the richest sources of inspiration for her to rebuild. Boy do we love our horses. So vital for our personal happiness in life.
I will now close and go to the little cubical to be with my girl and watch her sleep.......and pray her recuperation will be continued daily step by step progress. We are so damn lucky. We have an angel watching over us. Both Michael and I are blessed to have Laine Evion Ashker as our daughter. What did I ever do in my life to deserve such a gift? I grab it without question and will never look back.

time to knit beside her mom's sweater is looking great....just like my baby.